So You Want To Be Submissive? Now What?
Let me guess.
You’ve been online searching for that perfect scene. That first one to try and get you fully immersed into all of the desires that have been swirling in your mind. It’s been pent up for years. Each video you watch drives you deeper into your hole of perversion. Eventually you make a list. That will help rank the ones you like the best. The ones you must try to feel that emotion you can’t quite explain. Excitement? Yearning? A trembling in your spirit that wants awakening.
Is that how you ended up here? You want to learn what to do, how to start, how to be? Welcome! Let’s start by stating something you’ll probably hear again. You cannot try everything at once. Yes, I know! You think you can handle every situation you’ve been ruminating on, but wait. Remember this is an embodied experience. Your mind is only one part of the scene. The sensations, emotions, connection and commitment to your Dom(me) can be overwhelming, especially that first time. The beautiful burst of happy chemicals, adrenaline and excitement can send you into a blissed out yummy state. It’s best to ease into your journey and enjoy the feeling as it washes over you. Giving into the moment; just witnessing and experiencing without judgement or worry. Your Dom(me) will hold your hand through it all. I suggest starting with maximum 3-4 ideas your Dom(me) can entertain. This way if you dislike one you can try another; although it’s unlikely all of them can be explored fully in a first session.
What do you do once you’ve got your top 4? Prepare, research, repeat. Make sure you do educational research on the kinks you wish to explore. For example, if you want to explore canning watching some instructional videos on the correct areas to cane safely would be appropriate. Even if you aren’t administering the canning it is still important to know what is safer for your body and advocate as needed. This way if your Dom(me) asks for feedback, or you feels something is off, you have the knowledge to ask to pause, stop or otherwise alter play to your body’s needs. Preparation could entail buying a fresh cane if you wish to be canned until bloody and gathering the essential cleaning supplies for after your session. It is great to communicate with your Dom(me) on the preparation and research you are learning from as they may have additional resources or requirements they would prefer. Some online resources can be outdated compared to training received by your Dom(me) or just go against their preferences.
Now! You’ve made your list, researched it twice and you want to find out if you’re naught or nice. Good job! The last piece of the submissive pie is to ensure you are physically taking care of your body before play time. Meaning:
Get a good nights rest. I know you’re excited, you’re wiggling in your sleep; but still try to go to bed early and SLEEP. This is your first order 😝
Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Please do not just drink coffee or alcohol. You will sweat and you might be doing rigorous activities. Treat it like the gym: a good meal, lots of water/electrolytes and a snack for later.
It is preferred if you are as sober as you’re able. Whole intoxication sessions can be fun; for your first play date it’s best to be present. You want to be able to be in your body, in the moment and relish in the new experience. This is not to shame drug or alcohol use but to encourage those who can abstain to do so.
Shower and pamper yourself beforehand. Yes, you read right. Pamper yourself with your favourite soap, lotion, fragrance, or whatever makes you feel a little extra special. Come ready in your favourite outfit, your lucky socks or that sexy little number you’ve been nervous to try out. Whatever little touch that will add to your mood; your sub persona, if you will.
You made it to the end! Congratulations, on learning some tips and tricks to playing it safe for your first time on your knees. What are some tips you would add? Did I miss anything or would you refute any points? Comment below! I’m curious what you think.
Talk soon and lots of love,
Ashley Siren 🧜🏾♀️
