What Makes A Good Submissive?
You want to be good, don’t you? But how do you end up being the good trained submissive pet you were meant to be? What sets the good subs apart from the …well, kinksters? I have a few candid points that will have you on the path to being the bestest boys and girls and pets and toys you can be. Shall we?
Communication. Answer your dominant when they say a demand, ask a question, acknowledge or address you in anyway. This includes action towards you. Your favourite phrases should be: yes, no, thank you, and please followed by your dominant’s name. Your Domme’s name always starts with an honorific like: Goddess, Mistress, Mommy, Daddy, Master; followed by their name. Mine are Goddess Ashley, Daddy Ash, or Mommy Ashley. These names vary based on the type of play, relationship with each submissive and the energy I bring to the scene. After each phrase or action your dominant makes you should respond appropriately.
Take time to think of the boundaries and limits you have in your play. Do you want to experience pain but not leave marks? Do you want to be furniture but have bad knees? Express your physical needs, BDSM limits and things you are curious about testing, even if you’re unsure how deep into the fetish you’d like to delve.
Embodiment. Being able to be present in the moment, feel the emotions and sensations that arise. This way you can experience a full sensory emersion into BDSM and notice when pain, numbness and unwanted sensations emerge. This hints at adjusting or pausing BDSM play for optimal safety.
Quick learning. Each dominant has protocols and rules they expect their submissives to adhere to. These guidelines outline the order of play and reinforce the power dynamics being exchanged. The faster a submissive grasps the rules, not only to improve; but go above and beyond, the happier their Domme.
Caring, appreciating and respecting your Domme. This goes beyond BDSM scenes and play parties. Respecting your Domme is making sure they are not overworked during a BDSM scene time. Appreciating your Domme can be buying them food, celebrating their birthday, or learning a skill that would improve their life (like building dungeon equipment). Caring for your Domme can be making sure they got home or paying for self defence classes and equipment. Compliments and massages go a long way!
Do your own research! A knowledgeable submissive is a good submissive. The only time knowledge is bad is if it isn’t correct information. Do research before fact checking information with your Domme.
Hygiene, hygiene, hygiene. A sparkling clean submissive passes inspection. A sparkling clean sub with amazing oral and sexual hygiene is top tier.
These are definitely my top qualities I look for in a submissive. Of course some traits shift based on the relationship but these tend to remain the same. Do submissives have an idea of what makes a good dominant for them? It’s a great way to figure out they style of dominance and domination you prefer.
Lovely popping in to chat,
Ashley Siren 🧜🏾♀️
